University Or Work? When Your Child Doesn’t Want Either.
One of the most common complaints from parents who have teenagers or older children is that they answer negatively when asked about university or work because they do not want to choose either option.
Often these young people are confused and find themselves faced with a reality that they do not like. University or work? What if I don’t want either?
Many young people grew up in sheltered, affluent environments, which makes them passive and demanding. Although they received material support from their parents, they have no vision for their future. They also lack the determination to make dreams come true.
University or work? My child doesn’t want any of this!
Lack of motivation is the result of two factors that affect a person’s perspective. The first factor is an overprotective family. The second factor can be found in our society today.
Parents who complain that their child neither wants to go to university nor to work are unfortunately mostly responsible for this situation themselves. They have cared for and pampered their child from birth. This can sometimes lead to a phase of apathy.
These parents do not raise their children to be responsible people. As a result, they also have no chance of solving problems in life themselves and gaining self-confidence.
In general, young people who come from an almost suffocatingly small environment do not find themselves able to tackle life on their own. You are afraid of the future.
In some cases this goes so far that challenging situations are avoided entirely. This is to rule out failure or failure. But that leads straight into a vicious circle. Lack of effort leads to poor self-esteem, which makes reality more and more difficult.
Because these children are used to having their parents solve the problems for them, they have a very low threshold for frustration.
As a result, they also react very badly when things don’t go the way they want them to.
Social considerations
Society has also complicated the answer to questions about university or work. Early school leavers have few opportunities in our performance-oriented society.
Even after several years of studying, finding a job is not always easy. When teens see this, their conclusion is that graduation isn’t worth it anyway.
If the search for work is difficult even for academics, then this is even more the case for those who have no training but only compulsory schooling. This fact can have a very negative effect on the mindset, as those affected have no future prospects.
So-called NEETs are young people who have neither an apprenticeship nor a job, but are also not ready to train themselves professionally. Many of them think that all of these paths are useless anyway.
It is the lack of incentive to fight for one’s own dreams that turns them into victims of society who are rejected.
When they don’t have a role model, teenagers try to adapt. You follow trends without questioning them. They just do what the group does or what their friends do.
What is the result of this lack of guidance? Ultimately, young people lose the will to actively shape their own lives and to fight for their worth.
Is my child a NEET?
The good news is that NEETs are still in the minority, but the number of school and work refusals is increasing.
What can families do to help these young people? The first step is to research the reasons.
Build self-esteem
Parents need to teach their children to love themselves. Teenagers need to figure out where their strengths lie in order to build on them. Weaknesses must also be recognized and controlled.
Emphasize values
Material goods can in no way compensate for personal weaknesses. You have to help your child grow into a responsible and committed person.
Set reasonable boundaries
Borders help young people. Through it they learn how to deal with frustration and how far they can go.
The basic rules must be clear. Don’t ask too much of your child, but don’t underestimate their abilities either.
If necessary, a psychologist can provide help to resolve the problem. It is important to act as soon as you notice that your child does not feel like going to university or work and is thus obstructing their future.
