Parents Too Strict, Rebellious Children
The childhood and the relationship with the parents shape the personality for the whole of life. Often, mothers and fathers believe that an authoritarian upbringing is the right thing for their offspring. But parents who are too strict can achieve the opposite. Because it often happens that their children rebel.
Parents too strict
There are very different styles of upbringing. They differ, for example, in terms of the level of demands made by parents. As well as the degree of train inclination. An authoritarian style that too strict parents like to use is characterized by very high demands and expectations. There is also strong control and discipline. Usually there are few open expressions of affection or hardly any feelings at all.
In the case of these parents , the following upbringing methods are common: They rely on discipline, punishment and also threats. In doing so, they severely punish their children for inappropriate behavior, but without giving them an explanation. In addition, they are interested in stamping out this wrong behavior. They believe that dialogue is not necessary for this. Because all that matters is obedience.
In addition , parents who are too strict simply set their rules without any room for discussion. They usually do not allow their children to express their opinion. Nor are they in any way willing to negotiate. In this way they suppress and limit the individual freedom of their children. They also disregard the importance and value of the interests and needs of their offspring.
In the authoritarian style of upbringing , parents demand above all obedience and respect. They also exercise excessive control. They try to achieve good behavior in their children at all costs. But without being aware of it, they can achieve something completely different in this way: Because it happens that too strict parents raise young people who are oppressed and who see disobedience as the only way to react to this situation.
Rebel children
Many think that upbringing that is too indulgent and permissive leads to rebellious children. And that’s certainly true too. But in the same way too strict upbringing can lead to this result. Even if few are aware of it so far.
It is often assumed that parents who raise their children in a strict way will ensure that their children learn the right behavior. But usually this overly strict parenting style leads to the following scenarios in the children: Either they grow up into fearful people with low self-esteem. Or they become rebels. Because this is how they find an outlet to defend themselves against this unjust situation. Both ways are equally unhealthy.
You have to consider that all people have the desire and need to develop their individuality and also to express it. Everyone longs from an early age to be recognized and heard by their parents and everyone wants to be able to make independent decisions. Even with small things, such as what you wear every day.
It is the duty of every parent to offer their children a safe environment and to ensure that they can discover and develop their personality in this environment. A place where they can develop their own being.
If parents are too strict and restrictive, children will find no place and no hearing. Because parents who are too strict do not enter into a dialogue with their children and they do not listen to them. Nor do they spend time really getting to know their offspring. Because they just want blind obedience.
However, this creates a stressful family environment in which there is a lack of affection. All of this leads to a strong feeling of unhappiness. Those children who have been silenced throughout their childhood will then struggle through puberty to make themselves heard.
Puberty
Puberty is the stage of rebellion par excellence . At this stage, all young people tend to question authority and break rules. But they don’t do it to annoy their parents. Rather , they are simply individuals who evolve and search for their identity.
In a family atmosphere in which there are healthy and loving relationships, the young people will get through this phase without much difficulty. Because they know they are respected and supported by their parents. Therefore, they will be able to trust their parents in the choice of certain criteria and to respect them. Besides, they also know how to negotiate with them about it as well.
But parents who follow an authoritarian upbringing style from the start have created a completely different family atmosphere in this way. Namely one in which the feeling of injustice and compulsion prevails. This creates an extreme need in their children to assert themselves as persons. And also afterwards, to preserve their integrity.
Then during puberty, this rebellious outburst of teenagers and their determined resistance to their parents can cause serious problems. It can happen that they rely on a kind of personal rebellion and, as a result, resort to tobacco, alcohol or drugs. In other cases it also happens that the young people go completely wrong and behave completely irresponsibly and aggressively when their parents are not present.
Therefore, if parents want to avoid these types of situations, they should try a different parenting style. This should have rules that are as clear and coherent as possible and, above all, love and support should prevail. Because as a mother and father, you need to be able to listen to and respect your children. You also have to give them space to develop as independent beings.
Parents who are too strict: no balance between rules and freedom
The goal of upbringing should be that your children should accept respect and obedience out of conviction. Because they have internalized certain values and never out of fear of their parents or punishment. A young person whose parents have found the balance between setting boundaries and freedom to experiment will not feel the need to rebel during puberty.
