Pampering: Less Is Often More In Education!
Parents who pamper their children only mean well to them. They want the best and try to ensure that their darling is not lacking for anything. But don’t forget: less is often more in education!
You have to set boundaries and have the courage to say no. This is the only way your child can develop properly and grow into a responsible person.
Many parents believe that children who get spoiled too much try to get their attention with fits of anger. However, this behavior pattern does not always have to be due to the style of parenting.
Almost every child goes through the defiant phase in which they react with anger and anger and try to go to the extreme. These tantrums are particularly feared by parents in public.
But this phase is over again. However, you must not allow this behavior to become part of your child’s personality in order to achieve that all of their wishes are fulfilled.
If we spoil children too much, they won’t learn what boundaries are and how to behave properly.
It’s not about just saying no and forbidding everything. However, you need to allow your child to develop an awareness of correct behavior on their own.
It has to learn to be able to assess what is appropriate when, where and how.
The psychologist Violeta Alcocer, who advocates attachment parenting, writes:
In addition, Alcocer mentions that the best thing for a child is to learn to protect themselves and to build their lives on the values that they carry in their emotional baggage.
What are the limits?
The boundaries (which are talked about so much but which nobody knows exactly) are nothing more than the common place where one’s own needs no longer correspond to those of the other.
They are the space from which a healthy balance emerges; the space that allows healthy relationships with yourself, with others and with the environment.
Alcocer states in another article that boundaries are not always about hardship, authority or the ability to say “no”: rather, it is about harmoniously combining one’s own needs with those of the child.
On the other hand, we have expectations of our children, of ourselves as parents and of our families.
Boundaries and expectations are two closely related terms because our expectations are the frame of reference for our boundaries. They define each other, so Alcocer.
It is not enough to just say “no”
It is important to think about the role that “no” plays in a child’s life.
In order for a learning process to take place, it is important that we also orientate ourselves towards the wishes of our child instead of simply ending the topic with a “no”.
For example, we can say “Yes, but only up to here”. A resounding “no” is fine when the situation is dangerous.
But respect is always fundamental to any coexistence, which is why it should not be missing in a relationship with a child. It is an extremely important factor in education.
Conversations and understanding instead of spoiling the child too much
In her books, the psychologist and writer Rosa Jove explains a technique for dealing with tantrums in children. In this situation, she recommends listening carefully to the child.
This approach requires a lot of self-control and patience. It is important to first look at yourself to see which situations are easy to deal with and which are worse.
You also need to recognize your child’s weaknesses and explain why they cannot have the candy or why, for example, they are not allowed to do something.
The expert recommends letting children feel that they are always loved. But they also need to know that disagreements are normal and that they cannot have or do everything at all times.
Your child needs to know that you love them, even if you limit them. Because your love for your child is immeasurable.
Of course you can and should spoil your child sometimes, but that doesn’t mean that everyone always has to dance to their noses.
