How Do You Behave Properly When Your Child Tests Your Limits?
“I don’t want to take a bath”, “I don’t sleep alone”, “I do what I want” – do you think that sayings that your child uses to test your limits sound familiar? These and other tests of your limits on the child’s part are not as impossible to handle as they may seem.
It is a lie that there are difficult or uncontrollable children. So watch out, because in this “I Am Mother” article we show you how you can behave positively to resolve family conflicts.
In short, it is completely normal for your child to challenge you and test your limits . Let your children see how far they can go. That is why it is so important not only to set up rules, but also to define them as best as possible.
Let’s move from positive thinking to positive action.
-Anonymous-
Why act positive when your child is testing the limits?
Forget it – it’s not about being absolutely strict. And even less is it about demonstrating the undisputed power of parents in the form of physical or emotional punishment. This only results in an indelible injury for the rest of every child’s life.
Take your time, show patience and perseverance. Proceed with calm and, above all, lots of love. This is the only way you can ultimately understand what is really going on. What is behind this hostile behavior that is so common in childhood?
One thing is certain: the reasons why your child is asking you are small pieces of a puzzle that will bring you the solution. Be that as it may, the solution is nothing more and nothing less than positive action. Something that can be extremely complicated in an older adult’s day-to-day life.
You will see that one of the most common reasons your children behave is to ask for more attention. If that’s not the problem, you can check to see if your child is just testing their limits or is frustrated by something that happened at school or even to you.
5 tips for setting limits
It is possible to set boundaries without being too harsh and have the best parenting based on flexibility. Of course, that doesn’t mean that we allow our children everything. The point is to educate them by explaining the whys and whys of the prohibitions. Teach them things instead of telling them to do something all the time. How does it work? With the following tips for dealing with complex situations:
Often times, when we are angry, our initial reaction is wrong.
-Rick Warren-
- Always build on the positive. Positive reinforcement in attainments and triumphs is usually a very powerful and valuable form of education. Don’t rush into anything the child does wrong. You must also recognize and encourage their positive actions and good behavior. This prompts and encourages the child to maintain desired behaviors and actions.
- Work with a positive counterexample. Avoiding the word “NO” is possible and the effect is fabulous. It’s not about accepting the unacceptable, but finding a way to reject it in a positive way. That is, looking for a way to say “no” but by saying “yes”. Then we say, for example, not saying, “Don’t leave your clothes on the floor”, but “Put your clothes in the basket with the dirty things.”
- Clear rules are given authority. Always be clear about the rules and values of the house. Also, be clear about when you set limits. No matter what age, every child must know the rules of the house for sure. Then schedule meals, games, and dreams, organize home chores, and define the behaviors that will be accepted in the family.
- Personal agency, not reaction. Don’t get angry or ride on the child’s discomfort. Show him that you do not approve of this behavior at all. Keep calm and think about the best way to teach your child what they need to learn to correct their actions. Don’t argue for no reason, you’re just giving your child the chance to challenge you. “We have already talked about the consequences of your actions, I will not argue about it.”
- Not a second chance, but alternatives if your child tests the limits. Even at a young age, it is positive to offer alternatives to the child. As much as it is important to avoid huge second chances. Because the consistency and determination in a decision is crucial to foster good habits. Every action has consequences and they have to be enforced! As you give more and more opportunities, your child will learn that your word has no weight. You are not serious and it can get away with its behavior because there are no strict rules.
