First And Foremost Are My Children … Everything Else Can Wait Today!
Firstly, there are my children. You are the morning sun and the evening star in my life, the brightest celestial body. You are the most important thing in my life and the first thought of every morning.
But it is not always possible to devote all the time to them as we would like. It is therefore important to look for moments, magical moments in which time stands still and we can give them the whole world to tell them: “Today everything can wait, today life is ours!”
Let’s look back briefly to our own childhood. Your emotional memory is likely to lead you to an everyday moment that you could enjoy with your mother, father, grandparents, or siblings.
There is a very simple reason for this: our brain is guided by social mechanisms and therefore gives more meaning to those moments of childhood when we felt close to loved ones, who actively showed us their honest love and made us feel important.
Later, as we get older, we cherish small moments of solitude and complicity with ourselves. But as a child, this is not the case because there is a need to spend time with parents, siblings, or other loved ones. Proximity and love are at least as important as food!
Our children need to be able to see life in a soap bubble and feel that time is passing by at a snail’s pace on our hand. They feel the need to ask us impossible questions, to draw dreams, to paint the moon green and the sun purple.
They dive deep into our gaze while we tell them a story, or two or a hundred fairy tales. We cannot do all of this for 24 hours every day. But today is the best day to stop time, for her, for your children!
My children come first in my life, but I am also important …
Our children are first on the list, the most important in our lives, the knot that holds our dreams and hopes together. But we must not forget that if we neglect ourselves, we cannot take care of them properly.
- Investing in personal development, self-esteem, and psychological well-being doesn’t mean neglecting your children: it means taking care of yourself so that you can take better care of them too.
- In addition, you must not forget that you are not only a mother or father, but also have a couple relationship that needs to be nurtured.
- You must not neglect this! Cultivate your sense of humor together, take time for each other to look each other in the eye and dream together, develop yourself further in your joint project.
- The children come first, there is no doubt about that. But your psychological well-being and your emotional satisfaction are also a cushion for happiness, balance and security that your children benefit from.
My children need attention without hurry and happy afternoons that never end
There is one aspect that you should never neglect: children understand everything and perceive a lot more than they can tell us. The child’s gaze does not fail to see whether the attention you have received is actually fully directed towards them and whether it is authentic.
We have a clear example: 4-year-old Markus is very happy today because he goes to the park with his mother after kindergarten. She almost never does that because she has to work long hours and he is usually picked up by his grandpa. He spends relatively little time with the person he loves most, his mother.
That is why this afternoon is a very special, long-awaited moment for Markus , in which he would like to have a lot of fun. He climbs up the slide so that his mother can see him upstairs, but at that moment he notices that she is looking at her cell phone. She pays him little attention and just says “of course, Markus, you’re doing great”.
- Markus then comes home sad, he can hardly explain what happened. He was not accompanied, felt valued, loved …
- Our children must feel that we are devoting ourselves to them with all our hearts. No matter how old they are, even babies can feel the authentic relationship and dedication of their parents. It knows exactly what attention, closeness, comfort, looks, the pitch of the voice, etc. mean.
I will reserve a little time for my children every day
Regardless of whether you work, have long days and big responsibilities; even if you have little time to wake up your children and kiss them goodnight when it’s late. Take your time!
Your children will remember this in the future when, despite all the work and the great stress, you remember them and give them a little piece of time that seems magical; hidden kisses, fulfilled promises, caresses and words like “how can I have such an incredible and beautiful child”.
Give your child little moments of harmony every day, which will then turn into memories that they will look back on with a smile. Show them that they always come first. Because it is not enough that you know that, you have to show it to them through your love, your words, shared looks and from your heart.
Images kindly provided by Vickie Wade
