The Feeling Of Being A Lonely Mother And What You Can Do About It!
Raising a child is a 24-hour job in the first few years. And since it is not always easy, doubts can arise. Occasionally, this makes you feel like a lonely mother. But that need not be!
If you also know this feeling, then you should know that you are not alone with it. And these thoughts or the particular malaise are not the same as symptoms of depression.
In fact, this is a perfectly normal psychological process related to the interdependence between us and our babies.
Every woman poses differently. There are women who live alone because they want to. Others have to be alone many hours a day because the partner is working.
If the family lives far away and friends have their own chores, then chances are you’ll find yourself feeling like a lonely mother at one point.
We invite you to study this familiar topic: the feeling of loneliness as a parent.
Do you feel like a lonely mother? That can happen.
Just a few months ago, pregnancy and mothers’ magazine “Mamma Mia” published an interesting article telling the story of an Australian mother who commented on social media that she left her 10 month old girl alone for 7 minutes to go shopping.
The debate over it was in full swing for several days. In addition to the risk of leaving our children alone for only 5 minutes, something completely different came to light. Something that is more subtle: the loneliness and total dependency that mothers experience with a child in the first few years.
Twice the complexity of motherhood
In our society, motherhood is often portrayed as the most fulfilling time for a woman, and for many women it is undoubtedly the case.
However, we would like to explain the statistics a bit: it is satisfactory, but not always easy. The feeling of happiness does not always stay the same, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, all year round.
- Above all, being a mother forces us to change our own role. It prevents a mother from seeing herself in the first place. Instead, all energy and emotion goes to the newborn.
- Sometimes the whole emotional and psychological aversion creates doubts and fears. “Am I doing it well? Is my baby feeling well? Something wrong?”
- The addiction manifests itself several times a day continuously for several months or even years.
- The professional ambitions of women are put on the back burner and the relationship with friends changes. Sometimes even the intimacy with our partner changes a little. We are now fathers and mothers and our children come first.
- The struggling mother is not a depressed or desperate mother. These are normal situations that arise, especially with a first child.
In order to cope better with this situation and to avoid stress and anxiety from the outset, it is necessary to make a few small changes and to face the situation.
Share responsibility and build a support network
There is something we need to be clear about: being a mother does not mean building walls around us to keep the now invisible umbilical cord solidified through solitude.
We need to realize that when we are not feeling well, we are transferring that feeling of discomfort to the baby.
In order for our baby’s childhood to be a good, happy, and contented one, responsibilities need to be shared. The father also plays a fundamental role and even our relatives can provide invaluable help in everyday life.
Write down these simple tips and try them out.
Go out and take a walk. Don’t stay at home all day.
Our schedule is consolidated in the first few months and is based on breastfeeding, sleeping and other needs of the baby.
Although we know proper routines and habits come first, it is necessary and healthy for us to get out – for a walk and some sun. Social contact is crucial for our well-being and also so that the baby receives new stimulation.
Have a network for support – this is how you prevent the feeling of being a lonely mother
Regardless of whether you are a single parent or have a partner, you need a network that supports you every day.
Relying on friends who are also mothers is a wonderful way to feel supported. You can free yourself from doubts, relieve tension and get rid of any fears.
Playful activities with your baby
As your baby gets older, you can do fun activities with them that will help them grow up and strengthen your relationship as well.
- There are places where you can do yoga with your baby, for example.
- Swimming is also fun, especially with other parents, and it also improves your child’s motor skills.
So you see: in order to be able to enjoy being a mother, you need contact with friends, support from other couples and an environment that makes everyday learning easier for our children.
It’s a worthwhile adventure, and while it is normal to feel like a lonely mother at times, there are many ways you can get a grip on this feeling.
