I Don’t Help My Wife, We Share Responsibility

I will not be an observer watching my wife walk up and down the house all day. Sitting around while she does all the work is out of the question for me. Since day one, I have understood responsibility in a relationship and fatherhood.

My wife and I share responsibility. I don’t “help” her at home, and I don’t ever plan to do that. I’m not going to act like a guest waiting to be looked after.

Right from the start I understood that I was my wife’s partner. I love her and we have chosen this great family path. Having a family means  enjoying the good times and accepting the hard times. 

We share the responsibility  and I knew from day one that this was the key. As a father, I am part of the house and that means that I also help in the household. I do the dishes, iron, change diapers and cook. None of this puts me to shame  or makes me wish I was single.

This is what it means to me to be a good man. Sadly, the reality is different in many households these days. Women are mostly the ones who take care of everything. The men are mostly just observers doing other things.

But when we think of our children, the best example we can give them is that of a  family as a unit that shares their housework fairly. 

I am not helping my wife. We share responsibility

This debate never goes out of style. What is worth more – the work inside or outside the home? I ask myself this question when I am out and about with my friends: “ Do we value the work of our women, at home and outside? ”

“The other day I did the dishes and my wife didn’t thank me,” is a sentence we’ve all heard before.

When we think about it,  why should our wives thank us for something that simply adds to our home life together?

Why thank me for something that she does herself hundreds of times without anyone noticing or thanking her for it?

So I don’t see it as “helping” my wife. She doesn’t need anyone’s help. She is self-employed and very capable of doing everything at home and at work.

What we both need is a partner. We should support each other, even if she can do it on her own if necessary.

I don’t “help” my wife to keep the house clean. I’m just trying to keep the place where we live together. I clean and tidy up for the same reason, namely because I also live here, under the same roof.

I don’t “help” with cooking. I participate and we share responsibility because I also eat. And in the process I get the plates and cooking utensils dirty, so it’s my responsibility to clean them again afterwards.

I don’t “help” my wife with the children. I take care of the children because they are my children too. Our.

I don’t “help” at home. I’ll do my part.

Washing, hanging, folding all the family laundry. Pick up toys. Teach the kids math. Do gardening work.

Whatever needs to be done,  know that I’m not just helping around the house, I’m part of the family. That’s why I act like this.

I will never again think that housework is only women’s business. Regardless of the gender role I grew up with, what my parents taught me or what I learned in school. I am happy with the family that I have. I want to be a positive example to my children.

I want to treat my wife as a partner and not behave like a guest. I do this because I value my wife and everything she does for our family. I respect her for who she is. That’s exactly how I want her to treat me.