All My Baby Wants Is To Be Held All The Time
Being in the arms of mum or dad, or of another adult family member, is simply every little baby’s favorite pastime. It’s great to be held all the time.
Where does the habit of wanting to be held all the time come from?
This baby’s habit of wanting to be held all the time comes from its own human nature. We are living beings that need affection in order to grow. So physical contact is like a fertilizer. From our birth we look for human closeness in order to develop and to be happy.
It’s also important to know that babies are naturally fond of their mother. After all, they spent around 40 weeks in their belly. It is the mother who gives the milk they need. Usually it is also mom who sings the baby to sleep, changes diapers, bathes, etc.
So it should come as no surprise that babies want to spend more time in their mother’s arms than in someone else’s.
Furthermore , babies don’t like to be alone. Loneliness makes them feel defenseless. However, having constant company and being held by someone calms them down and makes them feel safe.
Babies must be able to rely on this loving support in order to achieve healthy emotional development. Affection also boosts the baby’s confidence.
Many people believe that babies who want to be held all the time do so because they are spoiled. They accuse them of being “manipulative” if they start crying when you lay them down. This is far from the truth.
It is important that you understand how necessary affection and skin contact really are in young babies’ lives.
When should you start worrying?
We just explained that holding a baby is an important part of its healthy development. However, there are cases in which this can be unhealthy for both mother and child.
There are babies who want to be held all the time, 24 hours a day, and only by their mothers. They cry desperately every time they are laid down or someone else tries to hold them.
This type of attachment is more harmful than beneficial as the baby is completely dependent on its mother’s arms.
The baby becomes unable to do anything on his own, or even try to be alone.
And it is also very exhausting for the mother, who also needs some rest and time for herself. It means stress, depression and a lot of tears.
What to do if the situation becomes too much
Even if the baby is never meant to be devoid of affection, attachment-oriented parenting should never reach such extremes. If the baby is held in your arms for 24 hours, this method of parenting becomes harmful.
Children raised under these conditions find it difficult to develop independence. They believe that mom is the one who has to do everything for them.
Keep your eyes peeled for signs that your child is becoming too addicted: for example, your child is old enough to hold their own bottle but doesn’t want to. It only wants to eat if you take the bottle for it.
Another sign can be that your child drops their pacifier, but does not pick it up again, but you should do it. It can even go so far that it expects you to put it back in its mouth as well. If this sounds like your child, it’s time to help them stand on their own two feet.
What can I do?
We want to make it clear once again that your child should never be deprived of the affection they need. It needs to be held, cuddled, kissed, played with, and taken care of in any other way as well.
But if your child is too dependent on you, that addiction can become “chronic”. As a mom, you need to take steps and the rest of your family needs to support you as well.
Here we want to give you some helpful advice for you and your little one:
Enjoying time with others besides you
You have to stop being the center of your baby’s universe. Your child needs to understand this in order to enjoy spending time with others, whether they are family or friends.
Maybe grandpa can play with the baby in the morning or his godmother can take it outside for a walk in the afternoon. Perhaps you can ask your daughter’s oldest cousin if he would like to feed her.
When other people are involved in your baby’s life, the weight on your shoulders will decrease. At the same time, his anxiety is reduced and his independence grows. It will form strong bonds with loved ones.
Stimulate your child’s development
Babies always want to learn something new. Laying your baby on the floor gives him the opportunity to strengthen his small body. Giving him new toys or things allows him to experiment. Learning to crawl enables him to discover the area.
All of these steps will help your child gain independence and forget about the mother’s arms that they seem so dependent on.
