7 Principles For Good Communication With Your Partner
Good communication in a partnership makes it easier to solve and deal with current and future problems. In addition, parents can exemplify unity and solidarity for their children. These values are very important for children. In today’s article we want to introduce you to seven principles that you should keep in mind for good communication with your partner.
1. Show your partner that you care about what he has to say
When communicating with other people, it happens very often that we only listen in order to be able to respond immediately. In doing so, we forget to really listen to and understand what the other was trying to tell us. This is one of the biggest problems encountered when communicating.
When we say something, we want the other person to listen carefully. In partnerships, it can lead to serious problems if the partners don’t listen to each other enough.
When we hear a criticism or complaint, we tend to immediately think about what we could respond to. These considerations prevent us from continuing to listen carefully to our partner. So we won’t really understand what our partner is feeling. This is why it’s important that you don’t view disputes with your partner as a competition where one wins and the other loses.
2. When communicating with your partner, you should speak in the first person
If you want to discuss a problem with your partner and don’t want to provoke an argument, it is very important that you use the pronoun “I”. This way you can make it clear to your partner that something is bothering you.
However, if you point your finger at your partner, then he will take this as an attack and criticism. Therefore, you should avoid saying things like, “ You always embarrass me in front of your parents. “It would be better if you said instead:” I didn’t feel very supported when we went to dinner with your parents last night . “
3. Avoid showing disapproval or contempt for your partner
Expression of contempt is the main reason couples break up, according to bestselling author Arielle Ford . Ford says the four main reasons that break a couple relationship are contempt, defensive behavior, excuses, and constant criticism.
If your partner feels restricted or uncomfortable talking to you, it will be very uncomfortable for them. This situation will lead to your communication becoming ineffective and at some point completely absent. In addition, your partner will become increasingly inhibited to behave authentically in your presence.
4. Choose the appropriate time to bring up important issues
Often a normal conversation suddenly turns into a tangible argument because we simply did not choose the right time to communicate. But how can we identify the appropriate moment?
Arielle Ford suggests that you start the conversation with a simple question: “ Do you think this is a good time for us to talk? There is a difficult topic that I would like to talk to you about. “If your partner then tells you that they don’t want to talk, ask them when it would be a good time.
It is very important that you do not make your partner feel like they have an obligation to speak to you at all times. If your partner is working, studying, or very tired, you should be patient and wait for the right moment. Otherwise, you run the risk of the conversation quickly turning into an awkward argument.
5. Show an interest in your partner’s likes and interests
Talking to your partner about your common interests can help strengthen your bond. Your interest in his preferences and hobbies will also enable pleasant and open communication. These topics mean that your communication will be smooth and pleasant. And this positive communication will, in turn, have a beneficial effect on your relationship.
Therefore, it is very important that you listen to your partner and be interested in his or her hobbies and preferences when he or she talks about it. The interest in the personal inclinations of the partner is one of the most important prerequisites for good communication in a partnership.
If your partner realizes that you don’t care at all about what he or she likes, and you don’t make an effort to talk about it, then this can be damaging to your communication with one another.
6. Open communication: talk about your problems
It often happens during a dispute or disagreement that past problems come up again. In addition, things are often discussed that have nothing to do with the current topic. This happens especially when the conversation is already very tense.
If further topics and problems arise during a discussion with your partner, you should not delve into them further at first. Agree to discuss these at a later date. However, you should agree on one condition: the problem should then also be solved.
The assumption that you and your partner can always reach agreement in every conversation is not realistic. Having this expectation only creates tension and conflict. So sometimes it is better to take a break and discuss the topic at a later time.
7. Tell your partner how you feel while communicating with them
Usually in an argument, we tend to criticize our partner with what is bothering us. As a result, our partner often feels attacked and tries to defend himself.
Therefore, one of the most important principles of good communication with your partner is that you don’t point your finger at them and attack them. It is much better if you explain to him how you feel.
Focus on explaining how you felt about the situation and try to describe your feelings. This will ensure that the mood and tone of your conversation become warmer and more understanding.
In summary, we can say that we should never forget the importance of good communication with the partner. Respect, mutual interest, the ability to listen actively and paying attention to the feelings of the partner are important building blocks for a relationship to work well in the long term.
