5 Ways To Be A Good Role Model For Your Child
Your good role model shows your child more than a hundred lectures. You are its most important caregiver and it will therefore unconsciously imitate you.
Raising children well is not an easy job
You must have thought a lot about what you can do to help your children transform into responsible adults over time. That brings us back to the well-known question: What DOES good child-rearing MEAN?
First, we have to try to be better people and parents ourselves. As humans, we are a “work in progress”: imperfect as we are, we can always improve.
We teach by setting a good example. Being a parent means seeing yourself as a role model for your children.
Here are some tips to help you raise your children well. These are excerpts from the book La Crianza Feliz (Happy Parenthood) by the Spanish author and education expert Rosa Jove.
Avoid adult centrism
If an adult always wants to be superior to a child and be right, it is called adult centrism.
In this kind of parenting, adults demand blind obedience. Because in this case the parents are of the opinion that rules are always transferred from top to bottom, i.e. from the biggest to the smallest.
The view is that parents are never wrong, and when they are, they just keep it a secret. If their mistakes are too big and obvious to hide, they make excuses not to apologize or justify themselves.
Many parents still believe that only they alone know what is best. They don’t even think about listening to the wonderful ideas and suggestions their children bring forth.
Remember: in a family, members should not attack or defend one another, but rather communicate and show understanding.
So don’t be afraid to admit mistakes and try to address problems directly. This means good parenting and will help your child mature into a humble person.
I understand
We have to show very clearly to 2 to 4 year old children that we understand them, even if we do not always approve of their actions.
Because this is the age phase when children begin to develop their independence. They try to do things on their own and contradict their parents.
We need to understand this first before trying to correct their behaviors. Even if their actions violate our principles – they do not act to annoy us, but to try out new things themselves and to experiment with their environment.
Let your children experiment and learn things on their own. It will help them mature into confident and independent people. If you are a good role model, they will imitate you!
Share habits and routines
Learning how to take a bath, prepare a meal, and clean up is important. It is best to do this chores as motivated as possible, because the result counts, and not just the fact that these tasks are necessary.
Psychologist Rosa Jove recommends that we should only establish habits when a task is essential and it should be absolutely impossible to introduce your child to them in a playful way.
She explains that the father should also be involved in the daily housework. So this is not only important for the balanced relationship between work and everyday life of the parents, but it also sets a positive example for their children.
All of this reminds us of a picture that was floating around on social media some time ago. The photo shows boys playing with dolls, feeding them and carrying them.
The text below asks in a sarcastic tone: So you let your sons play with dolls? Aren’t you afraid that they might … become good fathers?
Practice horizontal leadership
There are two kinds of leadership and leadership: one is exercised by power and is carried out from top to bottom. In bringing up children, this vertical leadership is based on the assumption: “I am right, my child is wrong”.
Parents acting as vertical educators will condemn bad behavior as shameful and seek to eliminate it by imposing routines and punishments.
Horizontal education, however, means with our children together to work shoulder to shoulder.
The idea behind this is to highlight good intentions after a mistake in order to motivate the child to do better next time. There is always a positive side, you just have to look for it.
When our children are able to learn from different situations and we can offer them our guidance by highlighting the good aspects, they will begin to consciously change their behaviors.
Show respect to get respect: be a good example!
An adult should never disrespect a child. If we allow adults to be disrespectful, then we have to accept this behavior in children as well. Nobody has the right to treat others without respect.
In any case, we are parents trying to raise children with strong values.
If we want to teach them to respect their fellow human beings, we cannot disrespect them ourselves whenever it suits us. If we do, they too will show disrespect later on.
Children often (though not always) imitate their parents. Therefore, it is essential to educate them with respect.
Always explain to them what exactly you expect from them at certain moments and be a good role model: “I’m angry too, but I still don’t act like that”.
